On Love
by Jwei Lih
Summary: Yuki is jealous of Kyo, unaware of Tohru's feelings for him- and decided on doing the unthinkable... (DONE... OWARI... CONCLUDED...) (note attached)
1. I Love You

**Warning: angsty, slightly OOC Yuki…**

Sorry if it's short.

I really have no idea what I'm doing… this is just my other self writing anything that comes to mind… If you guys think that the plot is unoriginal—please don't hesitate to tell me so… if the information's all mixed up, tell me nicely. I am a very emotional girl.

There… now I got that off my chest…

**I LOVE YOU…**

_Such a stupid phrase…_

Yuki was a person who didn't tolerate stupidity very much— thus the _wonderful _relationship he had with his brother. He didn't even consider the words "I love you" as a sentence…

For him, it was incomplete. Meaningless. Senseless.

It was just one of those moments when he felt depressed and lonely— watching in a safe distance as Kyo and Tohru ran around the field, playing their pathetic games and running around in circles, catching the falling cherry blossoms.

Life was difficult for Yuki. It always was.

Being the mouse meant that he was subjected to the most abuse and torture… He was constantly antagonized by the _cat_, _snake _(in Ayame's own unique sort of way) and the rest of those who were downtrodden because of his _rareness._

Right at that moment, it was obvious to him that Tohru had indeed chosen Kyo— over him.

It was to be expected though. Kyo was always the _livelier _one… the more _energetic _and _happy _one. He was fast. He was funny. He was the better guy for Tohru.

The words repeated over and over in his head until it hurt.

"Yuki-kun… are you okay?" asked Tohru.

She was standing in front of him.

He hadn't realized that he had moaned due to the throbbing of his frail head. Nor had he realized that she was looking at him with eyes full of love and concern.

Yuki was just oblivious.

"Yuki-kun… I think you should go rest…" said Tohru, gently grabbing his arm and leading him into the house.

"Where's Kyo?" asked Yuki.

"Oh. He went to buy more milk. He has weird appetite ne?"

_Figures, _thought Yuki, _she didn't come to me because she was concerned— she came because she was bored._

"I'll go get you a blanket," muttered Tohru, leaning Yuki's head against one of the corners of the dining room.

"Don't bother Honda-san," came the weak reply.

"You want soup?"

Yuki still told her the same line.

"What do you want then?"

_You_, he thought numbly and miserably, feeling cold.

"Yuki-kun… I… I— hope you take care of yourself…" muttered Tohru, feeling rejected, but smiling nonetheless.

"I'm sorry," said Yuki, "I'm just not feeling well… I hope you don't take it the wrong way…" _I love you… but I can't stand to see you with Kyo… I'm selfish… I'm sorry… I'm not perfect… I'm sorry…I'm selfish…_

_(tsuzuku… _rest assured, I will update.)

Jwei Lih (04/12/05)


	2. But I'm No Good

**Warning: still slightly OOC and angsty Yuki… just the way I like it.**

I show my deepest gratitude to those who reviewed… **heartillyangel, Medalladark, Shii-chanchick, EK, Kyo's Kitty**…

And so I have decided to make it a longer story… Although the chapters would still be kinda short…

I am a disturbed and confusing girl… but enough about me— let's get on with the story…

**BUT I'M NO GOOD…**

_I'm no good…_

The phrase kept repeating in Yuki's head, over and over, as he twisted and turned in his sleep.

"Hey," muttered Kyo, poking him in the ribs, "wake up. You're having a bad dream again… no doubt."

Yuki blinked once, twice and sat up.

"Akito again?" asked Kyo, "I thought you already stopped being afraid of him…"

Yuki shook his head.

_Oh great, Yuki mode_, thought Kyo crossly, "Okay. I'm willing to talk about this without it having to turn ugly— or bloody."

Purple eyes stared disbelievingly at Kyo.

"C'mon. You can do better than that. Speak. Squeak. Speak. Squeak. Speak."

Purple orbs continue to stare.

"Okay. Okay. Goodnight then. Honestly— you're such a— aargh. Goodnight." And with that, the orange-haired cutie (sorry… couldn't resist.) went back to sleep.

Purple eyes still continue to stare.

Stare into the darkness that enveloped them as the moon hid itself behind the dark clouds of the night.

_I'm no good…_

_I don't deserve to be loved…_

_I don't deserve to love…_

_Tohru should just forget about me…_

_Or…_

Yuki stood up and changed his clothes, deciding that now would probably be the best time to do what he had been contemplating to do for a very, very long time.

He got his bag and stalked around Kyo, reaching the handle of the sliding door.

He opened the door and found Tohru's sleeping figure, blocking his path.

_What is she doing here? _Yuki asked himself. _Probably couldn't wait to see Kyo… or probably had a date with him…_

For he, the oblivious one, took no notice of the concern clearly etched on his beloved's face… Concern— for him.

But then again, he couldn't see it.

He was just as unmindful as he was before.

_No, _he told himself firmly, _I should stop caring... that's what I've decided to do… and I'm sticking to my decision…_

Like a quiet mouse, he sneaked out of the house and headed for the last place on Earth any sane man would want to visit other than holidays— the Main House…

(_tsuzuku_… like I said before… it means "to be continued" ne?)

Jwei Lih (04/14/05)

Utterly sorry for the cliffie… :) Couldn't help myself.


	3. So I Will Forget About You

**Warning: for no special raison d'être really… just be prepared. :)**

I'm not really sure if Akito-sama's (faints) robe is silk… but let's just assume it is… okay?

I would like to thank everyone that reviewed: **Shii-chanchick, kogaswolfgrl, hatori obssesser, momiji and those who reviewed the first chapter…**

I will definitely make chapters longer— once I've finished all my other longer fics… :) But don't worry… I promise I'll write longer ones…

With that off my chest… let's begin!

**So I Will Forget About You…**

Yuki watched as the sun rose, touching everything with its magnificence and radiance. He closed his eyes for a moment and allowed himself to smile.

What he was going to do was far beyond logical comprehension— something he was actually quite good at— and by far, the most idiotic thing he has ever thought of doing…

It just wasn't sane…

It was something Kyo would have thought of doing— not _the Prince_… but there he was…

Waiting…

"Yuki."

It was Hatori. He was the solution…

Yuki just slightly tilted his head in acknowledgement and continued to stare straight ahead.

"Yuki, I…"

"Don't worry. I haven't lost every bit of common sense I've always possessed… I haven't lost my sanity either."

"That's good to hear. But I thought you should know…"

"Akito," Yuki suddenly muttered, "Does he know I'm doing this?"

"Yes. He does."

"Did he give you permission?"

"Yes. In fact…" Hatori broke off, remembering the conversation that he had with Akito that evening.

_**--flashback—**_

"Oh Hatori. It's lovely outside, isn't it? I don't really like Spring very much— Is there something you wish to tell me?"

"It's about Yuki…"

Akito's eyes narrowed. He stopped staring out the window and sat on his chair, resting his left ankle over his right knee and leaning his elbow on it.

"What about him?"

His voice was laced with the hatred (it always had) but there was also something else… something Hatori couldn't quite define.

"He has requested that I rid him of his happy memories and feelings of Tohru."

A smile graced Akito's features as his hands idly played with his silk robe.

"And so it shall be… I was actually expecting this…" he smiled wider, "no one would ever love Yuki as much as I do…"

_**--end of flashback—**_

****"So, he doesn't mind?" asked Yuki.

"He doesn't mind. He actually wanted me to tell you 'good luck'... But I want to ask you— are you sure about this?"

"I'm sure."

"Very? No regrets?"

"Very. No regrets…" muttered Yuki, following Hatori into his clinic.

_I love you… but I'm no good… so I will forget about you…and all you mean to me…_

(_tsuzuku…_)

Jwei Lih (04/15/05)

So… you now have a clue on what the next chapter's title would be… yey!


	4. I Love You Too

Okay! Kill me! I forgot that they don't sleep in the same room— but let's just pretend that Kyo was _concerned _for once… or something… I don't know! (faints) (cowers) Oh! kill me!

Oh yeah… my Slam Dunk fic! (gasp) I forgot to upload it! (bangs head in wall) Will do... sometime soon...

Anyway, thanks for those who reviewed: **nightgodess, EvilMicella, Shii-chanchick, fdiw, Wings, sami1010220, CRISTAL, pmartin33, kishe, imjuzakyd and to all I've mentioned in my previous chapters…**

_Disclaimer: I actually find it stupid to place this since it is pretty obvious that Fruits Basket doesn't belong to me… but I WANT it to! Waaahh! (told you I'm emotional…)_

**Warning: just be warned…**

(Okay… a **note**: I am a very shifty person and I wanted to show you what Tohru and Kyo went through while we were utterly focusing on my precious Yuki… ehrm… anyway… It's pretty easy to follow. Clue: **_I'm going back to the very beginning and running along until such time that both ends meet and I continue with the story_**… _your loss if you didn't read this part properly… nah… Not really. :)_)

If the conversations aren't exactly the same… it's due to the fact that Yuki heard and understood differently from what Tohru/ Kyo was actually trying to say… (poor Yuki...)

This rule applies to the rest of the titles with "too" or "either" or "also" in them.

**I LOVE YOU TOO…**

_I love you, _thought Tohru, looking at the purple-haired boy sitting somewhere in the distance, _I always have—_

"Hey," muttered Kyo, momentarily stopping his game, "you look distressed. It doesn't suit you. What's up?"

"I… I feel irresponsible— lazing around and playing with flowers when I should be cooking or cleaning or…" muttered Tohru, looking at her hands.

"Ah… and then _responsible Tohru _breaks my fun," said Kyo, laughing good-naturedly, "alright. You win." He raised both hands in mock-surrender and toppled into the ground that was filled with pink petals.

Tohru allowed herself to laugh and follow suit, sending more pink petals into the air. She got lost in the wonderful feeling of freedom— just like when her mother was still alive. She looked up at the orangish sky and slowly closed her eyes, thinking about her memories of her mother.

For a moment, everything was calm, peaceful and happy.

Until Kyo decided to move…

He looked at Tohru's serene expression and felt something in his heart soften. He didn't see her relax very often, since she was a very hyperactive girl.

He couldn't resist wanting to take a closer look at her face, so he hovered above Tohru, who apparently was dreaming about something wonderful. He was careful not too get too close to her, for an obvious reason (that the authoress no longer feels the need to explain… :)).

Tohru, finally aware of another person breathing somewhere near her face, immediately opened her eyes, causing the poor frightened Kyo to tumble backwards.

"Ah! I'm sorry!" muttered Kyo, reddening profusely, "I didn't mean to… I…"

Tohru sat up and put a finger on Kyo's lips, "it's alright Kyo-kun… no harm done. Anyway, I better go and prepare dinner before Gure-san comes back ne?"

"I'll just…" stammered Kyo, "I'll just buy some milk…" He then ran away, still blushing and ashamed of having been found out.

Tohru's gaze didn't follow the orange-haired guys hurried exit though— for it was still glued to the direction of the place where Yuki was sitting.

Then, she saw Yuki fall down.

She ran as fast as her legs could carry her, all the while praying earnestly that whatever caused him to collapse wasn't that serious.

"Yuki-kun! Are you alright?" she gently shook the unconscious purple-haired boy, who was currently lying on the floor.

Yuki regained consciousness.

"Yuki-kun… are you okay?" asked Tohru.

She was standing in front of him, looking at him with utterly worried eyes.

She heard him moan and she felt her throat constrict. She could feel his pain, but she couldn't do anything about it… she felt helpless.

Yuki was just oblivious.

"Yuki-kun… I think you should go rest…" said Tohru, gently grabbing his arm and leading him into the house.

"Where's Kyo?" asked Yuki. He sounded weak. _Maybe it was his weak bronchi?_

"Oh. He went to buy more milk. He has weird appetite ne?" Tohru paused, remembering what happened. "I… I'll go get you a blanket," muttered Tohru, leaning Yuki's head against one of the corners of the dining room.

"Don't bother Honda-san," came the weak reply.

"You want soup?"

Yuki still told her the same line.

"What do you want then?" _Does he hate me? What did I do? Doesn't he want soup? _She wanted to cry. "Yuki-kun… I… I— hope you take care of yourself…" muttered Tohru, feeling rejected, but smiling nonetheless.

(_tsuzuku… _again… I'm sorry for leaving you guys at the edge of the cliff… hehe… actually, I'm NOT sorry… but hey, it will be worth the wait. I promise! I'll work hard!)

Jwei Lih (04/16/05)

Sorry for the utterly long note… :) and the utterly weird love for the word "utterly"… 'til next time!


	5. But I'm No Good Either

Disclaimer: Am in a bad mood… Know that I am pretty and bored— and lazy… So therefore, I conclude that Fruits Basket is not mine… 

thanks to those who reviewed... :)

**Warning: Contents slightly similar yet contradicting to chapter 2… :) Which means Yuki was slightly delusional at that time… :) Sorry…**

**BUT I'M NO GOOD EITHER…**

_But I'm no good… I don't deserve you, _thought Tohru, while watching Yuki eat dinner; _maybe that's why you were angry with me._

"Hey, you okay?" asked Shigure, "you look troubled…"

"Yes," lied Tohru, smiling her innocent smile, "I'm just a bit exhausted from the exams."

"I see," he muttered, although not quite convinced. He glanced at the other members sitting on the table and noticed that Yuki and Kyo weren't bickering— another peculiar sight. "Oi Kyo," he said, "are you sick or something?"

Kyo shook his head and muttered a slightly audible "no".

Shigure gently raised his eyebrow. _Kyo's cold-headed and barely speaking… Tohru looks like she's about to die… and Yuki looks gloomier than usual… My instincts tell me something is wrong…_

"Um… Yuki-kun…" muttered Tohru, slightly reddening, "are you okay now?"

Yuki didn't reply. He looked like he was currently in another planet— dimension— universe…

"Don't worry Tohru," said Shigure, "it's not you… It's his— depression… he's occasionally like that— especially when…"

Yuki then shot the novelist a cold glare before he could say anymore. "I'm going to bed," he muttered, not bothering to finish the meal.

"I'm going to bed too," muttered Kyo, before bringing his empty plate to the sink and following the nezumi into his room.

"Don't worry," Shigure repeated, "it's not you— they're occasionally like that… At least Kyo finished his meal… I think I'll just finish Yuki's meal— it looks untouched…" He rambled on, unaware of the silent tears that made their way out of Tohru's eyes.

"Kuso nezumi," muttered Kyo, "why did you have to hurt Tohru's feelings?"

"You'd know, wouldn't you?"

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"You'd know about her feelings— more than anyone else," said Yuki, his hands balling into fists.

"What are you talking about?" _Has he lost his mind?_

"Don't feign innocence," muttered Yuki harshly, grabbing his blanket.

_Something's utterly wrong, _thought Kyo. _I should stick around and make sure he doesn't do anything funny…_

_I'm no good…_

The phrase kept repeating in Yuki's head, over and over, as he twisted and turned in his sleep.

Kyo had been watching his cousin sleep for the past minutes after being disturbed by the weird noises Yuki was making.

"Hey," muttered Kyo, poking him in the ribs, "wake up. You're having a bad dream again… no doubt."

Yuki blinked once, twice and sat up.

"What is it? Who is it this time? Akito?" asked Kyo, "I thought you already stopped being afraid of him…"

Yuki shook his head.

_Oh great, Yuki mode_, thought Kyo crossly, "Okay. I'm willing to talk about this without it having to turn ugly— or bloody."

Purple eyes stared disbelievingly at Kyo.

"C'mon. You can do better than that. Speak. Speak. Speak."

Purple orbs continue to stare.

"Okay. Okay. Goodnight then. Honestly— you're such a— aargh. Goodnight." _You're such a pain… _And with that, the orange-haired cutie (sorry… still couldn't resist.) went back to sleep… Not really. He just pretended to.

Tohru wanted to talk to Yuki. She just wanted to know why he was being cold to her all of a sudden—

What did she do wrong? Did she do anything rude without knowing it?

_I'll wait for him to come out— and then I'll speak to him. _She decided.

(_tsuzuku…_)

So there you have it… that's why she slept outside Yuki's room and that's also why Kyo slept _inside_…

Although I've been know to write Yaoi… That just isn't the case here…

Nyahaha… just an afterthought…

Jwei Lih (04/16/05)


	6. So I Will Also Forget About You

**Warning: Nothing. Just wanted to write that word… looks pretty, doesn't it? W-a-r-n-i-n-g**

Must thank beautiful people who read and reviewed... **Suzaku's Rose, kyo-obsessedru2, Shii-chanchick, Pr3ttyl1lasian **(utterly hard to spell! Took me a minute!)**, maidenofthemist89, **and of course, dearest **imjustakyd**-san (who had the guts to threaten me...)...

and to everyone viewing this story right now! ARIGATO! (i wanna cry...)

**SO I WILL ALSO FORGET…**

Kyo's ears perked (like a cat's) when he heard his cousin stand, but he stayed still. He had expected that his cousin would do something funny… call it cousinly instinct or whatever. He watched as Yuki packed a few things in his bag and removed his pajamas, revealing his shirt and pants.

_So he's been planning to escape all along, _thought Kyo, _he's so damn predictable— that mouse._

After Yuki left, Kyo stood up and sneaked into his room, grabbing his clothes and his bag. He could hear Shigure's typewriter and decided that he should talk to inu before he did anything else.

Shigure stopped writing, when he heard footsteps somewhere outside. (He was doggy-like, remember?) _An intruder? No…the footsteps are moving away from the house… Then that must mean what Hatori was saying was true…_

"Hey," came Kyo's voice, "Can I talk to you?"

"Come in," said Shigure.

"Yuki's left…" was all the cat could say.

"I know…"

"Do you know where he's going?"

"I'm guessing Hatori's clinic… or the Main House… whichever comes first."

"Why?" asked Kyo, clenching his fists, "that coward… he's running away…"

"Running away. Yes, that would be a good term," said Shigure, "he's running away from his feelings for Tohru… Hatori told me that Yuki has been asking him to do something…"

Kyo's eyes narrowed. _That could only mean one thing…_

Without any second thoughts, Kyo bolted out of the room.

Bad move.

Tohru abruptly woke up upon hearing the crashing noise Kyo created.

"Kyo-kun?" she asked worriedly, "what's going on?"

Kyo skidded to a halt and turned around to face the concerned girl. He could feel his throat constrict.

"Yuki. He… ran away," he muttered. _And he wants to have his memories of you completely deleted from his brain…_

"Why?" was all Tohru could say, as tears flowed freely down her face, "does he hate me that much that he can't stand to be in the same house as I am?"

Something in Kyo's mind clicked. _Yuki's in love with Tohru—and Tohru's in love with Yuki… but why are they being stupid and running the opposite ways? _He leaned in and kissed Tohru on the lips— it was soft, quick and utterly _brotherly_.

"I'll help you. I promise," muttered Kyo. And with that, he bolted out of the house in breakneck speed, ignoring the tears that were threatening to fall.

He was hurt. But it didn't matter. He had been hurting all his life… so it wouldn't make the slightest difference.

(_tsuzuku…_) A bit short but the long wait has finally ended!

yey! Now we're going to proceed to the regular timeline! Aren't you happy for yourselves!

Jwei Lih (04/16/05)


	7. And All You Mean To Me

**Warning: An utterly weird authoress on a mad rampage… **

This is the final chapter of On Love... thanks to all who reviewed in the previous chapters: **CRISTAL, EK, EvilMicella, Fdiw, Hatori obsesser, Heartillyangel, HFaith, Imjuzakyd, Kishe, Kogaswolfgrl, Kyo's Kitty, Kyo-obsessedru2, Maidenofthemist89, Medalladark, Momiji, Nightgodess, Pmartin33, Prettyl1lasian, Reibunny, Sam1010220, Shii-chanchick, Suzaku's Rose, Wings, YukiKyo... **and to the rest who read the story... (bows) I'm in deep awe...

**AND ALL YOU MEAN TO ME…**

_**--Flashback--**_

"So, he doesn't mind?" asked Yuki.

"He doesn't mind. He actually wanted me to tell you 'good luck'... But I want to ask you— are you sure about this?"

"I'm sure."

"Very? No regrets?"

"Very. No regrets…" muttered Yuki, following Hatori into his clinic.

_I love you… but I'm no good… so I will forget about you…and all you mean to me…_

_**--End of flashback—**_

So there they were… Yuki sitting on the floor while Hatori looked at him through one of the beakers he was holding up.

"Well?" Yuki finally asked after minutes of eerie silence.

"I'm just waiting for you to stop shivering."

And so he was.

"It's a bit cold… I haven't noticed…" It was the truth— Yuki didn't know that his dread was showing and that Hatori had immediately picked it up.

"Don't you think you're being a bit selfish?" asked Hatori, still watching his cousin closely for his reaction.

Yuki didn't say anything.

Was he being too selfish? Wasn't this for everyone's well being? Was this decision a mistake?

"Long ago," said Hatori, "when Akito almost blinded me— Kana blamed herself… she thought that she was the reason why I was in pain…" He paused, looking closely at Yuki's reaction, and then he said, "… How do you think Tohru would feel if she knew that you wanted me to rid you of memories of her?"

Yuki wasn't listening. He refused to listen to anything Hatori said…

_It was stupid._

_How would Tohru feel if she knew?_ Yuki furrowed his brows.

_It wouldn't matter…_

_I'm going to do this…_

"I think…" said Yuki, "that I've done all the trembling I could possibly do…. I'm ready to have my memory rewritten."

Kyo arrived in front of the gates of the Souma Family Compound, panting heavily and almost fainting. He leaned his hand against one of the pillars and muttered to no one in particular, "open up. It's me, Kyo."

"Oh, Kyo! It's open." a delighted voice said. It was Momiji, sitting on one of the roofs.

Kyo fell to the ground on all fours as the gate was being pushed back. He felt that if he took a step further, he would die.

"What's the matter?" asked Momiji worriedly, "Are you sick? Do you want me to take you to Hari?"

Kyo nodded his head, unable to do anything else.

"Come on then." Momiji tugged on Kyo's clothing.

Kyo was about to stand when he suddenly felt the presence of one of the people he had been avoiding all his life…

Akito.

"Kyo— kun?" the words uttered with such malice that it could never be mistaken for endearment… " You're back. What are you doing there? Are you dying?" drawled Akito, gliding toward his orange-haired relative.

"I was just about to see the doctor," muttered Kyo, clenching his jaw.

"Well," said Akito, "he's busy. Come back when he's free— I'm sure he'll be _happy _to accommodate you." He walked back toward his threshold, humming to himself softly.

Kyo wanted to punch his cousin's guts out but held himself back just in time. He just had to find that mouse… that's all.

He stood up and dusted his clothes, while thinking, _I have to find that nezumi before he does something more stupid…_

_Funny… I always thought he was the cool, calm, collected and smart one…_

_--_

"Sit down then," said Hatori, gesturing toward the floor in front of him.

Yuki did as he was told and shut his eyes in preparation.

"This may take a while," muttered Hatori, placing his hand over the prince's closed eyes. He concentrated hard on what he had to delete.

**_Memories of Tohru…_**

("That's it! Hatori's clinic! The one near a pond!" said Kyo, running towards the said destination.)

**_Feelings for Tohru…_**

("Matte! Yuki! Yuki! Matte! Yuki!" said Kyo to no one in particular, "Kuso nezumi!")

**_Love for Tohru…_**

("Oh crap. I'm lost…" muttered Kyo.)

**_Everything about Tohru…_**

(_No. Wait! There it is! _Kyo thought, speeding towards the closed sliding doors.)

Kyo opened the doors and was thrown back by the blinding light that met his eyes.

(_owari… _for lack of better things to say…)

What do you guys think? Was it okay for my first Furuba attempt?

Should I write a sequel?… or just give up…

Let me know!

Jwei Lih (04/20/05)


	8. This is Just a NOTE, not a story

Note:

Okay people... I have decided to write a sequel… (hears boos and screams) But I must warn you— the timelines are just as messed up as this story… so… yeah. It will be entitled "On Love 2"— and uploaded on the first week of May…

I hope everyone got the idea that Kyo also lost his memories of Tohru, etc… 'coz that's actually what happened… just wanted to clear that…

Anyways… THANKS to those who read, reviewed, threatened, ranted, complained, flamed, criticized and worshiped (maybe that was just me…) this story.

Jwei Lih (04/28/05)


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